she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
