Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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