I think my vagina is haunted
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
