I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
