I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My liver is preforming stress tests.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
