I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We left the knife in your bed.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
