I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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