Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
pray to the hookup gods
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