Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You may now shotgun with the bride
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize