you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
