is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
