is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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