Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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