i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
