To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
