sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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