I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize