called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
