I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize