he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
