Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
