If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
