when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
