im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
