she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
