i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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