if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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