Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
