just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
