There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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