Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
