your thong is hanging out like whoa
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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