dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
