No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
