Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize