Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
