I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
