My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I stole a fireplace last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
