I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize