I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize