420 ftw
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
