so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I party with great urgency now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
