doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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