Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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