i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
