if i died would you start the facebook group?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
