Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
tonight lets celebrate not being married
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
PANTIES FOUND
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