So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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