Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
