She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
