I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
