You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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