my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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