eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
