I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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