I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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