Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
