Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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