this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
