those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
