I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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