i just had sex bonerless
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
