...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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