Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
