What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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