she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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