dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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