I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
