Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
